that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
