his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
