trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
