At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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