you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
