White coat. Heels.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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