She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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