just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
