I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Someone signed my nipple.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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