You're a womanizer and a bitch.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize