I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
