Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize