The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
In America we eat man semen.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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