if i can run in heels then i can drive
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
