that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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