Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
