Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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