CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
