bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize