I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
