I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
My friends, they love my intelligence
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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