you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
