If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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