you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Randomize
