She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
