had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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