He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I just had sex on a roof
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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