How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Two words: blizzard sex
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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