He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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