I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
