Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
