You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
how drunk are you?
Several
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
