Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
