I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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