someone threw a dead crab at me
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
