you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
