in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
