well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
