God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
