hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
