She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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