Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
how do flat chested girls get laid?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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