I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
