I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
