Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
