its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
