I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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