Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
