How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
