Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
