Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
