found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
