She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
