Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
