So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
