Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
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