the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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