I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
