brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
