Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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