You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
