whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
