Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
