laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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