Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
3 2 1 whiskey
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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