Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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