i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
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