i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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